Final Exam Panic Attack
I’m officially done with second year! Wohoo time flies so fast. It has been a rough journey I must say! I had my last Political Science exam yesterday. I swear to God I was soooo tired. I started studying two weeks before and since then I had roughly less than 5 hours of sleep every night so you can imagine how tired I was. I have so many stuffs to study in one night, I studied for this subject before but for some reason when I flip through my textbooks I can’t remember anything I’ve studied. What a curse.
It was around 2am I started to freak out and tears running through my cheek. Hahaha! Yes I was crying because I was freaking out that I’m going to fail the exam. So I tried to watch How I Met Your Mother, you know so that my scumbag brain won’t be freaking out but to my horror, I was crying non stop while watching HIMYM. What the heck seriously who does that?
I don’t know what to do so I grabbed my phone and dialled my boyfriend. I feel bad for waking him up in the middle of the night but he was freaking out too because I couldn’t talk but cry.. I’m such a pussy isn’t it. Wrapping this up, he went over to my house and calmed me down, bought foods from McDs because I haven’t had proper foods for days and yes for the exam, it turned out it wasn’t that bad :)
Nice to know that I have someone who is willing to come over at 3AM to lend his shoulder for me to cry. God is fair, I might be away from my friends and family but He gives me him to replace everything that I’m missing for now. Can’t wait to go back few days left <3
Happy girl is happy, just look at her godamn cheerios behind her! :D
“kenapa baik hati nak belikan iPad?”
“because i want to make you happy”
Aww you’re the sweetest! You know you don’t have to buy me an iPad to make me happy! Anyway he already gave me the money last month to buy the new iPad but I still can’t decide yet whether to get it or not. Is it worth it.. or is it just another expensive gadget that I’d throw in my bag and use it casually. Any thoughts?
To-ACE-List
01. Political Science Midterm
02. Sociology 2nd Midterm
03. Microeconomics 2nd Midterm
04. Annotated bibiliography essay
05. Major English Lit research essay
06. Major Political Science research essay
07. Inkshed reports
Crazy week. Crazy term. Crazy month but I shall not give up, but ACE!
16 months and counting :* I’d like to thank God for finally letting me date someone who is not an ass. LOL.
Phu-aka
Mulut macam puaka lagi, mampos kau puaka puaka setan. It wasn’t my intention to humiliate or to tell stories about others but when someone is talking shit and exaggerating and manipulating it, somebody needs a bitch fucking slap. You know, if I were to date a new guy, I’d ask everything about him from his ex girlfriend.. because she knows him so much better than I do.
Cry cry baby, cry cry me a river! SAKMADICK!
Kasihan
Some people need to realize that I don’t give a flying fuck about their life.. Oh well maybe they feel..somehow loved that way? Pity..pity..
Isk isk isk…
A thought
Maybe.. I just need to get laid. And everything will be perfect again, with rainbows and butterflies (plus chocolate, cotton candy, sugar, spice and everything nice).
Sanity
Definitely a lot of hate and tension going on, but nothing can be expressed, well I guess writing keeps me sane. Writing in a place that no one gives a shit about.. and writing about, again, things that no one gives a shit about.. But definitely something that I give a shit. That feels good.
There’s something wrong - it’s either with me, or with other people around me. I can’t figure out that.. yet. Yes, I’d like to re-state that I’m not extreme-fucking-friendly. I dislike people easily, hate people easily - and that is why I don’t care if they hate me too. I mean whatever I can’t please everyone. I don’t live to please or to be pleased. A win-win situation, I guess, at least to me.
That being said - I prefer to be/live alone because I tend to feel… like crap when other people annoys the shit hell outta me. I don’t say it out loud to them - I don’t confess nor I show - but it is definitely eating me inside. My theory is the less frequent I see that group of people or that particular person, the better it will be. What is the point of staying/living together, if you’re in constant hate. Hate is a strong word, I know.
I don’t want to be here but I gotta be here. You know what I’m saying? No? I guess so. I’m not anti-social, going out, hanging around and stuff like that is fine, but not living under one roof. Just so many things to say but I just fcking can’t. I can’t. I’m afraid that I might hurt others - at this point I might hurt some hearts already - but the constant pain growing stronger each day inside me, is unbearable.
Fuhhhhhh that feels good isn’t it.
:)
I wanna get a new good DSLR and start taking random pictures.. just because I feel like I want to. I don’t want to be a photographer, I just want to record memories :) Picture tells us stories you know.
