Definitely a lot of hate and tension going on, but nothing can be expressed, well I guess writing keeps me sane. Writing in a place that no one gives a shit about.. and writing about, again, things that no one gives a shit about.. But definitely something that I give a shit. That feels good.
There’s something wrong - it’s either with me, or with other people around me. I can’t figure out that.. yet. Yes, I’d like to re-state that I’m not extreme-fucking-friendly. I dislike people easily, hate people easily - and that is why I don’t care if they hate me too. I mean whatever I can’t please everyone. I don’t live to please or to be pleased. A win-win situation, I guess, at least to me.
That being said - I prefer to be/live alone because I tend to feel… like crap when other people annoys the shit hell outta me. I don’t say it out loud to them - I don’t confess nor I show - but it is definitely eating me inside. My theory is the less frequent I see that group of people or that particular person, the better it will be. What is the point of staying/living together, if you’re in constant hate. Hate is a strong word, I know.
I don’t want to be here but I gotta be here. You know what I’m saying? No? I guess so. I’m not anti-social, going out, hanging around and stuff like that is fine, but not living under one roof. Just so many things to say but I just fcking can’t. I can’t. I’m afraid that I might hurt others - at this point I might hurt some hearts already - but the constant pain growing stronger each day inside me, is unbearable.
Fuhhhhhh that feels good isn’t it.